Son of Oaf Test

SON OF OAF TEST

By: Well, no one really wants to take the blame, er, credit

Lucky you. Guess what you get to do? You get to see if you can pass Son of Oaf Test. "What is an Oaf Test?," you ask.

Well, several years ago, five to be exact, the staff of CYCLE WORLD, after wracking its infantile cumulative brain for magazine subject matter, came up with a semi-foo-foo, albeit generally informative, question and answer article designed to let the reader discover how much he did or did not know about the motorcycling subjects queried.

Those who failed were dubbed "Oafs" and were eternally banned from the DT-1 MX Low-End Grunt Club, a group of notably inebriated sourpusses who spout the philosophy that a bike is not a bike unless it comes on the pipe in the five-figure bracket.

There now being an almost entirely new editorial staff at CYCLE WORLD, which, in keeping with tradition, is as well-endowed mentally as the last group, we have decided that our readers, particularly long-time ones, should have a chance to redeem themselves from their past performance on the Oaf Test. For those of you who were not CYCLE WORLD readers at the time, this test should make you ask yourself, "Who the hell is Don Vesco?"

But fear not. Should you prove yourself undeniably suited to Oafdom, there will be other Oaf Tests in the future (sooner than five years, we hope), which will give you a chance to purge yourself of the score that you achieve on this test.

The questions are designed to test a basic knowledge of motorcycling mechanics, people, places and events. Some are very easy, some not so easy, and others are purely designed to separate the men from the oafs. Some of the answers may be found in the past twelve issues of CYCLE WORLD, while others cannot be found anywhere.

It is possible to score as many as 200 points on the test. A score that ranges from 180-200 earns you a lifetime membership in the Fraternity of ThreeCylinder Ariel Owners. From 160-179, although you can't claim an immense knowledge, you ain't bad. From 140-159, you don't really know why you ride, but you think sickles are "keen." A score of 120-139 denotes that you are a useless pit racer who freaks out on scaring old ladies. You probably ride a 1966 Yamaha Trailmaster 80 with an open pipe. Boo. Scoring below 120 nets you the rather befitting title: "Oaf."

So, grab a piece of paper, a pencil (crayons might be more appropriate for some of you), and settle back in your easy chair to take on Son of Oaf Test.

SHORT ANSWER. 1 point

1. What are "diggers”?

2. What are Renthalls?

3. Is it engineeringly possible to build a four-stroke, five-cylinder, six-speed motorcycle?

4. Name three common methods of two-stroke intake design.

5. In what country was the 1972 Motocross Des Nations held?

6. How did the U.S. place in the above?

7. Has a rookie ever captured the AMA Number One Expert plate?

Who is the present European TriChampion?

9. Which national rider had the longest winning streak in events contested in 1973?

10. Name the world's largest-selling motorcycle (both brand and displacement).

11. What are "snivelers?”

12. What does DLS stand for?

13. With enough horsepower, will you go faster with a final drive gear ratio of 13 to 91 or 11 to 78?

14. In what country are "Kwackers" manufactured?

5. Does "trimming the skirt" bring

each. to mind erotic thoughts? (If you answered yes, take an extra point).

16. Within $10, what is the retail price of a 450 Maico cylinder?

17. Which machine holds the AMA one-lap speed record?

18. Within two mph, what is that record?

19. When cornering a Honda Elsinore 250, what does sitting on the gas tank usually prevent?

20. Within two mph, what is the fastest a 50cc motorcycle has ever traveled during a land speed record attempt. (P.S. This attempt did not take place in the U.S.)

21. Why don't European trials riders use knobbies for muddy trials?

22. Why are magnesium motorcycle parts stamped with the word "magnesium?"

23. What purpose do cross-ups serve, other than showing off?

24. What is a "dab?"

25. Who was the first American ever to defeat the Europeans in one moto of a stateside event?

26. On what make of motorcycle did he do it?

OWN AND DIRTY RIDING

1. You are on the starting line of a motocross awaiting a flagman's signal. Will you be able to get off the line quicker, everything else being equal, if you wait behind the line and roll up to it as the flagman begins to make his move, or if you try to sneak slightly ahead of the rest of the riders, to a stationary lead position?

2. Why do some road racers clutch their downshifts, yet buttonshift their upshifts?

3. You have found a deserted section of pavement that is in fairly good condition. You're going to find out exactly how fast that ring-ding street Twin of yours really is. Into top gear and down on the tank you go. Your fcight hand is on the throttle, almost SKILL TEST. 2points each. pulling the cable out of its sockets. Where should your left hand be, and what should it be ready to do at a milisecond's notice?

4. When descending a steep downhill in the dirt, is it best to place one's weight as far back as possible to prevent the rear wheel from coming off the ground, or as far forward as you can to give the front wheel, which is taking the brunt of the braking load, some extra traction?

5. Riding an enduro, you come around a bend and notice a checkpoint about 100 yards ahead. You see them and they see you. You know that you're ahead of schedule, and you don't want to be docked for being early. What should you do?

MATCH THESE FAMOUS RIDERS WITH ONE OR MORE EVENTS IN WHICH THEY HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL. 2 points for each correct matching (32 points possible). 1. Yvon DuHamel a. motocross

2. Jeff Smith

3. Roger DeCoster

4. Malcolm Smith

5. Rolf Tibblin

6. Sammy Miller

b. road racing

c. trials

d. snowmobiling

e. desert racing

f. ISDT

TRUE AND FALSE. 3 points each.

1. A desmodronic head operates on a hydraulic principle.

2. Folding footpegs are mandatory for AMA dirt-track racing.

3. Yvon DuHamel is known as the Cunning Canadian.

4. Sylvain Geboers and Joel Robert are great friends.

5. Although six-speed transmissions are legal stateside in formula 750 road racing, they are not legal for the pipier 250cc machines.

6. It is illegal to race a 1973, boxstock, 350 Bultaco in the 500cc G.P. class in motocross.

7. Grand National Champion, Kenny Roberts, made a whopping $50,000 for his racing efforts last year.

8. Water cooling allows for tighter mechanical tolerances in an engine.

9. No one has ever been World Motocross Champion in both the 250 and 500cc classes.

10. An overhead cam engine, because it has fewer moving parts than an externally similar pushrod counterpart, generally has a lower center of gravity.

11. A twin steel disc brake, complete with calipers, is lighter than a four-shoe Fontana drum brake.

12. Traditional placement of the igni-

tion switch on Honda motorcycles has long been an industry standard. >

1. The smoky mess pictured here:

a. Needs a new set of rings.

b. Pre-mixed too much oil.

c. Just ran through a deep water crossing.

d. Is the creature from the Black Lagoon.

PHOTO QUIZ

5 points each.

2. This man:

a. Won't be able to shake hands with anyone for two weeks.

b. Just learned what "front-end washout" means.

c. Has stopped to do push-ups for more stamina so he can finish the race.

d. Is in love with this motocross track.

e. Two of the above.

3. This man:

a. Can't knot a tie properly.

b. Looks like Wayne Newton.

c. Is Wayne Newton.

d. Is prettier than Wayne Newton.

e. Is possibly the fastest road racer in the world.

f. All of the above except C.

4. The rider(?) at left:

a. Is the man from Hertz (hurts?).

b. Is in the classic "flying W" position and is going to be sorry he didn't wear his jockstrap.

c. Just finished praising his Bui's handling characteristics to the AT-1 MX rider behind him.

d. Is Evel Kneivel landing from his Grand Canyon jump.

5. This elderly gentleman:

a. Should have a jacket that reads AMA Top Twenty 1871.

b. Looks like Milton Berle.

c. Is timing the shutter on the photographer's camera to see if 125th is accurate.

d. Can't figure out what to do with the third tie string on his jacket.

e. Is a member of the only father-son combination ever to win Daytona.

f. Two of the above.

Continuation of True and False Questions from Page 51

13. At one time, BMW produced chain-drive motorcycles.

14. The 380cc Puch motocrosser, which contested several rounds in the World Championship Series, had a three-piece, bolt-together frame.

IDENTIFY THE FOLLOWING MODELS BY BRAND OF MACHINE. 4 points each.

1. La Cross

2. Injection/Electronic

3. TTS

4. Powerplus

5. Explorer

6. CR250M

7. El Duro

8. RV 125

9. LT3 10. Metralla

BONUS QUESTION. 5 points each.

In 1972, there were four riders who had a chance to capture the AMA Number One plate going into the last race. Name these four riders and the race that decided the winner.

OAF TEST ANSWERS

ON PAGE 96.

OAF TEST ANSWERS

Continued from page 53

SHORT ANSWER. 1 point each. 1. Drag bikes 2. Spring-aluminum handlebars 3. Yes 4. Piston-port, reed-valve, rotary-valve 5. Vannes, France 6. 10th 7. No 8. Martin Lampkin 9. Gary Nixon 10. Honda 350 11. Popular nickname given to people who complain about events being too difficult 12. Double leading shoe 13. 13 to 91 14. "Kwackers”—Kawasakis—Japan 15. Means to modify the lower edges of the piston. Correct answer: No. Best answer: Yes. 16. $225. 17. Kawasaki Z-1 18. 160.288 mph 19. Front-end washout 20. 144 mph 21. Knobby tires are not allowed by FIM rules 22. So that people won't try to have the pieces welded if they break or crack. Magnesium is highly flammable. 23. Mid-air corrections in desired line or direction 24. Footing in observed trials 25. Gary Conrad in 1966 26. An old leading-link G reeves

RIDING SKILL. 2points each. 1. Roll up to the line as the flagman begins to make his move. 2. Upshifting without using the clutch saves time and saves the clutch from overheating. Downshifts dictate the use of the clutch to prevent the sudden deceleration in the rear wheel's speed from causing a skid. This is also much easier on the transmission. 3. Your left hand should be on the fork tube to cut wind resistance, but ready to grab the clutch in case of a seizure. 4. Place your weight as far back as possible. Gravity will take care of transmitting it to the front wheel. 5. At a safe speed, fake a crash. Then pretend that you can't get your bike restarted until the time catches up with you. Make it look good, because many checkers are instructed to look out for such shenanigans, and they will mark you off anyway.

MATCH RIDERS TO EVENTS. 2 points each correct matching. 1. b,c,d 2. a,c,f 3. a,c 4. e,f 5. a,e,f 6. b,c,f

TRUE AND FALSE. 3points each. 1. False 2. True 3. False 4. False 5. True 6. True 7. False 8. True 9. False 10. False 11. False 12. False 13. False 14. True

IDENTIFY MODELS BY BRAND. 4 points each. 1. Montesa 2. Motobecane 3. Munch 4. Indian 5. Ossa 6. Honda 7. Gina 8. Suzuki 9. Yamaha 10. Bultaco

PHOTO QUIZ. 5 points each 1. c 2. e 3. f 4. b 5. f

BONUS QUESTION. 5points each. Gene Romero, Dick Mann, Dave Aldana, Jim Rice, The Sacramento Mile.