Ups & Downs

Ups & Downs

Stupid hurts HONDA

ROUNDUP

UP: To American Honda, for its "Stupid Hurts" ATV safety campaign. The program stresses that thoughtless, reckless behavior can lead to injury. "At Honda, we have a strong commitment to the safe operation of our motorcycle products, especially models for younger riders," said Ray Blank, VP of Sales and Operations. "Get the proper training. Have the right equipment and follow the rules." Good advice, no matter the number of wheels.

DOWN: To Gerard Depardieu, for dipping too heavily into the sauce. The French actor was recently convicted of drunk driving after crashing his motorcycle outside of Paris. Apparently, he had 2.5 grams of alcohol per liter of blood, the equivalent of 12 glasses of wine. The upshot was that Depardieu, 49, lost his driving privileges for 15 months, was fined $1800 and given a three-month suspended sentence. He also may be stripped of his Legion of Honour award, bestowed upon him by the President of France in 1996.

UP: To Esquire magazine, for rationalizing the purchase of a Ducati ST2. "You are 35 or 40 and hip-deep in mid-life crisis and questioning your hum-drum existence, and this is what you do: You go out and have an affair. This, of course, is bad. Alternatively, if your wallet allows it, you go out and buy something sleek and red and fast. This is also bad. The former will upset your wife and is a cliché, and the latter will upset your wife and is a cliché. Which is why all men who have entered the regular prostate exam portion of their lives should rejoice that Ducati, the legendary Italian maker of sleek and red and fast motorcycles, has just introduced the ST2. With a more upright stance and standard saddlebags, it's got more in common with a touring bike than a racing job. Of course, the two-wheeled shenanigans still might upset the wife, but isn't that a helluva lot better than the affair?"