Don't Mess With My Woman, Mal

Don’t mess with my woman, Mal

ROUNDUP

I was jealous of Mickey Rooney when he spent so much time next to Elizabeth Taylor in “National Velvet.” She was my girl, and here was this little guy getting all of her attention.

Now it seems I have reason to get jealous all over again. But this time, Mickey Rooney isn’t in the picture; instead, my competitor is multimillionaire Malcolm Forbes, who apparently has convinced Ms. Taylor to trade in her horses for motorcycles. Give me a break, Liz Why didn’t you let me know? Honest, I would have answered your calls if I had known you wanted a ride.

I have to admit, though, that Forbes did an admirable job of initiating Ms. Taylor to the thrill and excitement of motorcycling by taking her along on a recent Sundayafternoon poker run with the Blue Stars motorcycle club of Bound Brook, New Jersey. She rode behind Forbes on his Harley Heritage Softail as he led the 44-bike entourage, and at one point even urged him to pick up the pace.

At the end of the day, Blue Star club members wanted to show their appreciation for Ms. Taylor’s visit, so they made a quick check of the club’s bank balance, after which president Richard Dinnerman presented her with a $ 1000 check for AIDS research, a cause for which she is a fervent advocate. Then, when asked how she liked motorcycles, she turned to Forbes and proclaimed, “I want one.”

And her wish came true. A custom-painted HarleyDavidson 883 Hugger was delivered to her door a few weeks later, compliments of you-know-who.

Now that you have that bike, Liz, call me. You have my number—I know you do. Don’t make me wait any longer. You see, I know this restaurant at the end of a long and winding road that was made for us. There’s just one thing, though: You’ll have to leave that Forbes guy behind. —Camron E. Bussard