The Road From Armageddon To Salvation
HUSQVARNA TR650 TERRA VS. KAWASAKI KLR650 VS. KTM 990 ADVENTURE BAJA VS. TRIUMPH TIGER 800XC VS. YAMAHA SUPER TÉNÉRÉ
The Road from Armageddon to SALVATION
If you had to run to the hills and into unknown territory, which bike would you take? One of these.
BLAKE CONNER
HE MAYANS SERIOUSLY SCREWED UP. EITHER that, or we are not very good at reading their hieroglyphs. Most of us woke up last December 22nd and realized that the predicted doomsday hadn’t materialized. But it got the Cycle World staff thinking...
Even though we dodged that one, shouldn’t we be prepared in case archeologists got the date on the Mesoamerican calendar wrong?
And what about the popular Hollywood notion of a coming zombie acopalypse? Many people believe zombies actually exist. When was the last time you saw Keith Richards?
TRONA PINNACLES < 35.61597° N, 117.37369° W
THE RIDERS
JIMMY LEWIS
JOHN VOLKMAN
JESSE ZIEGLER
RYAN DUDEK
BLAKE CONNER
HOTEL MAYA 33.75628° N, 118.1991° W
This much we agree upon: If you need to escape the chaos that a complete global catastrophe could produce, a motorcycle is your ally. And big, adventuretouring bikes are clearly the best choice for the “end-is-near” scenario. They offer onand off-road capability, significant carrying capacity and great long-distance comfort. Plus, they can be fitted with
armor to protect them from the inevitable hard knocks of the unknown world. A GSX-R is only going to get you so far when all hell breaks loose.
Our group of testbikes—all fitted with DOT-approved knobbies, saddlebags and various other protective parts—spans a broad spectrum, beginning with relatively lightweight 650cc Singles from Husqvarna (TR650 Terra) and Kawasaki (KLR650). Moving up in displacement and weight, we have the Triumph Tiger ~ 800XC Triple, the KTM 990 Adventure Baja V-Twin and the behemoth Yamaha Super Ténéré, powered by a 1200cc parallel-Twin. Travel just a few hours outside of the Los Angeles basin and the environment starts looking post-apocalyptic—desolate and barren, yet strikingly beautiful. During our three-day trip, we blasted through sand dunes, dodged abandoned mines and even hurtled past ghost towns left to rot in the harsh desert sun.
OUTFITTED FOR ARMAGEDDON
Husqvarna TR650 Terra
Accessory skidplate ($186.55), wide footpegs ($148.25), high windscreen ($129.15), handguards ($104.76), rear luggage rack ($222.43); Giant Loop Siskiyou Panniers ($649.00), Hot Springs Heat Shields ($50.00); Kenda Big Block tires ($175.98)
Total: $1666.12
Our adventure began at the Hotel Maya (sorry, we had to!) in Long Beach. We headed north through the dense urban congestion of L. A., a task made far easier on a bike than in a car. Our ultimate destination? Salvation Mountain, the religious pop-art installation near the Saltón Sea. But first, we had to visit some of Southern California’s famous natural landmarks along the way.
Some things to consider when choosing a motorcycle to escape Armageddon: How much power is enough? How much weight is too manageable regardless of the condition of the road. “The Kawi is really easy to ride off-road,” commented guest-tester Jesse Ziegler. “Despite the rubber footpegs, it’s really a dirtbike chassis and feels like one.”
As it had been on every surface up to this point, the KLR was a sound choice, not capable of performing many pet tricks but totally solid.
CAMP ROCK 34.82213° N. 116.84735° W
Not far behind, but much less confidence-inspiring, was the Husky. “The TR’s handling is a bit awkward,” said Lewis. “The bike has a lot of weight on the front wheel and feels unstable at high speed.”
Transcending it all is the amazing KTM. Despite its size and not-insignificant heft, the 990’s chassis, steering geometry and ergonomics are impressive. “The KTM reminds me of a dirtbike and acts like one as long as I keep her under control,” said Lewis. “The biggest plus is the suspension, which works well in every situation.”
Later that afternoon, reality struck when another guest tester, John Volkman, crashed the Triumph. Crossing two-track desert sand whoops, he got a little too comfortable with the bike’s capabilities and surpassed the limits of traction and balance.
KTM 990 Adventure Baja
Ups
A Comes standard with all the necessities A A robust pile of manhood A Dances through dunes like a camel on crack
^)owns
▼ Two freaking fuel fillers
▼ Dunlop knobbies are squirmy on asphalt
▼ Poor maneuverability in tight quarters
When the dust settled (literally), parts were strewn across the desert. Functionally, the bike was fine. We lost a handguard (but not the lever it was protecting) and had to reattach the windscreen with Zip-ties, but the XC had nothing twisted or critically damaged apart from a broken bag mount. Plus, it looked way more Road Warrior. At least that’s what Volkman said. Day 1 finished with late-afternoon photos at the Trona Pinnacles, a surreal desert landscape used in Planet of the Apes.
OUTFITTED FOR ARMAGEDDON
KTM 990 Adventure Baja
Standard crash bars, handguards, skidplate, waterproof tankbag, tailpack, and DOT-approved Dunlop 908RR knobby tires.
Day 2 began early in below-freezing temperatures at Goat Breker’s Sky Ranch in Randsburg {randsburgcottagehotel. com). After exploring several old mines, we decided to skirt Death Valley and head to Dumont Dunes, a couple of long, cold hours away on the highway. Rotating through the bikes on a regular basis made us really appreciate each machine’s strengths and weaknesses. We also learned that there are certain bikes we dreaded riding when the wind was howling and the numbers on the world’s tallest thermometer in Baker weren’t even registering (okay, the thermometer was broken, but the weather was still freaking cold). Not to pick on any one bike in particular, but the
poor Husky, with its stubby windscreen, proved quite unpopular when we hit long stretches of highway.
“It seemed like the other guys timed it so I would be on the highway, on this nonhighway bike, far more than was fair,” said Ziegler. “It has little wind protection, and I could hear those guys laughing ev-
ery time we snuck up to 90 mph. I’ve seen Mad Max enough to know that you have to ride a lot of highways after the s&*% hits the fan, and, for that, this bike sucks.” At the opposite end of the adventurebike plushometer is the Super Ténéré. “On the road, this bike kicks butt,” said Dudek. “It has a comfortable and open riding position, great wind protection, an awesome seat and power to the moon.”
DUMONT DUNES 35.68961° N, 116.23988°W
Between those two extremes, the other bikes deliver varying degrees of comfort and wind protection. Every tester felt the KLR offered good (but not the best) shelter from the breeze, along with a decent seat. The KTM has
spot-on ergonomics and a nice saddle, although the windscreen at freeway speeds caused some helmet buffeting. As for the Triumph, the single biggest complaint was the riding position. The footpegs are too high (onor off-road), the bars too far forward and the seat/ tank relationship makes the bike feel ing like a much smaller enduro machine. Magic.
BOX CANYON 33.58585° N, 115.9794° W
After a short freeway blast leaving Barstow on the morning of Day 3, we once again headed off-road. We jumped onto Camp Rock Road, a rock-strewn gravel route through Lucerne Valley. All five bikes were essentially on even footing here.
Sure, the Super Ténéré, Triumph and KTM could all easily blast up to well over 100 mph, but there comes a time when you have to think about stopping. And you need time and space to reel in 600 pounds of mass on a loose, sandy surface, knobbies or not. Saner speeds soon prevailed, although the bikes would have been capable of sustaining those speeds all day if necessary.
After our high-speed hijinks, we slowed down in a hurry. Whoops as far as the eye could see. Not just any whoops, but seemingly endless ripples strung out across the desert and covered in three to six inches of sand and gravel. Not such a big deal for the KTM, KLR and TR, but the Triumph had to slow to a jog and the Ténéré to a shuffle. Nevertheless, in this environment, all five bikes had to be ridden with special care, as enduros they are not. We had to ride the Yamaha like a rock-crawling rig; otherwise, the poor bike would have joined the Triumph as a member of the walking dead.
Triumph Tiger 800XC
Ups
A Awesome engine: smooth, powerful and fun
A Sounds like an angry warbird strafing the desert
A All the bells and whistles
Downs
▼ All the bells and whistles cost serious bank
▼ Funky ergos make no friends
▼ Top-heavy feel fights you off-road
The survival of our bikes—not to mention our general comfort and ability to carry supplies—was greatly enhanced by the factory and aftermarket accessories installed. We’ll never know for sure if the protective guards saved us from serious headaches, but judging by the loud metallic clanks we heard as rocks ricocheted off the skidplates, we would say they did. Ditto our mix of DOTapproved Kenda Big Block, Continental TKC 80 and Dunlop 908 knobby tires.
Late on Day 3, we rolled along the stinky shores of the Saltón Sea and finally arrived at Salvation Mountain. Hallelujah! Think what you may about the quirky site’s religious iconography, but we became true believers when we spied a school bus full of German fashion models finishing up a video shoot, undoubtedly waiting for us.
Before we totally lost our focus, we discussed the merits of each bike, reminding ourselves that the best bike needn’t necessarily be the fastest, the best handling or the most technologically advanced. The real question is this: If you were picking one of these five as a survival tool, one that you could depend on in a wide and unknown variety of circumstances, which bike would you choose?
Yamaha Super Tánéré
Ups
A Best cockpit for the long haul A Really can do it all A Can be loaded like a yak A Weight pays few dividends
^)owns
▼ With no on/off switch, ABS must be “tricked” off
▼ Ponderous through technical terrain
Fact of the matter is this: The Super T, for its size, does remarkably well in the dirt, but for an unknown post-apocalyptic world, its weight and complexity keep it from being our first choice. ^
JOSHUA TREE 1 34.03154° N, 116.18167° W
Our runner-up is going to ruffle some feathers, as two out of our five testers picked the KTM first. There is no question that the 990 Adventure Baja dominated almost all of the performance categories. “Overall, the KTM’s comfort is high, the engine gets the job done with power to spare, and the brakes are excellent,” said Lewis. “Downsides include a limited turning radius and soft engagement of the clutch. Fd prefer a little better fuel economy and, for sure, more range, but in Baja trim, the 990 offers a lot of value.” 35'
Which brings us to the winner. Here, Volkman spoke for all of us:
“No Internet support and no trained motorcycle technicians will be available after Armageddon.
So, I want the AK47 of adventure 34. bikes. Beauty, plastic doodads and sophisticated electronics won’t matter.
I don’t need a bike that will shed plastic in a fall like a Labrador Retriever loses fur in the summer. I need absolute reliability, ease of access to mechanical internals and no-manual fixability. This bike 117 isn’t the best in all areas, but, like the AK, it will be simple, reliable and effective. The bike I’m riding through the dust with the sunset at my back is the Kawasaki KLR650. When I pull the trigger, I want it to fire. Dust, sand or mud won’t stop this bullet.”
SALTON SEA 33.50988° N, 115.91723°W
SALVATION MOUNTAIN I 33.24203° N, 115.48253° W4
