Bmw F800r

“If you’re after the spine-tingling wail of a Triple, you’ll need to adjust to parallel-Twin drone, but the eight-valver does lay down a big, flat spread of torque and a healthy bellow when you open the throttle.”

EMBOLDENED BY THE SUCCESS OF ITS incredible new S1000RR (and justifiably so), BMW has gone ahead and built itself a dang hooligan bike. In fact, it’s been on sale in Europe since 2009, while the company has used the typical excuse not to import it to the States: Americans don’t do naked bikes. Well, apparently now do enough naked bikes to make them profitable, so here the F800R comes.

Chest pumped and strong chin jutting proudly in the wake of the S1000RR, BMW’s VP of Motorcycles USA, Pieter de Waal (a South African), uses the word “conquest”! Don’t surrender yet, mon ami, he means conquest sales. After watching its superbike draw customers away from the usual suppliers in its first year, BMW thinks it can sell even more bikes to guys who buy Speed Triples Z 1000s and Monsters. Why not? The Bavarians are on a roll. It doesn’t hurt, points out BMW’s U.S. marketing manager, Todd Andersen, that the company’s financing division kept right on extending credit when others’ wells dried up.

Not exactly an all-new design, the F800R packs the same 360-degree parallel-Twin that propels the F800GS (CWs Best Dual-Sport in 2009) into the same alloy twin-spar frame used by its now-discontinued F800S (the ST remains for 2011), the big difference being that the new bike uses a two-sided swingarm and chain final drive instead of the S/ST’s one-sided arm and belt. Chain drive is just more hooligany, really, and lets guys like world champion stunter Chris Pfeiffer (who helped develop the R) throw like a 56-tooth sprocket on back if they want to. It’s lighter, too: The R weighs but 428 pounds dry compared to the GS’s 471, part of which is attributable to the substitution of flyscreen for fairing. Internal gearing changes move fourth, fifth and sixth gears closer together for urban blasting, with the R’s top cog equivalent to the F800GS’s fifth gear. Final-drive gearing, meanwhile, is taller, like that used on the F800ST.

It works. The thing’s a smooth-running, highly maneuverable, quick-turning little marmoset around town. On the open road, 5000 rpm gets you 80 mph and quite a bit of vibration through the solid-mounted, dirtbikey tapered aluminum handlebar, which doesn’t subside ’til 90 or so, and that’s about the only thing we can find to complain about after one day of riding. The suspension deals with busted-up pavement while serving up a firm enough ride, and optional ABS soldiers on with typical BMW herky-jerkiness on bad asphalt. If you’re after the spine-tingling wail of a Triple, you’ll need to adjust to parallel-Twin drone, but the eight-valver does lay down a big, flat spread of torque and a healthy bellow when you open the throttle. BMW says a new variablepressure fuel pump provides better power delivery along with improved mileage— around 55 mpg is the claim, which bodes well for range considering the 4.2-gallon tank. Output is 79.4 horsepower at 8900 rpm and 56.6 foot-pounds of torque at 6000 rpm on the Cycle World dyno.

For mature hooligans who crave a little comfort with their chaos, there’s nothing out there quite like this BMW. Bavarian seat foam is without peer, and there are no-charge shorter and taller seats available, too. (Standard is 31.5 inches high and leg space is tight for taller people.)

The middleweight class is getting some serious attention from manufacturers, with the Yamaha FZ8 headed to our shores this year to join the Aprilia Shiver 750, Ducati Monster 796, Triumph Street Triple 675R and maybe even an MV Agusta Brutale 675 Triple by late 2011.

List price for the F800R is $9950, but you definitely want the heated grips, which are part of the Premium Package that includes ABS and an On Board Computer, bringing the total to $11,395. Plus $495 destination charge. If you’re going that large, ante up for the optional Akrapovic Ti muffler and some luggage. Charge it to your BMW card now. Explain your Greek financial situation later... □

BMW F800R

First a superbike, then a six-cylinder GT, now a stuntah?! BMW is on a tear.

JOHN BURNS