Grand Tour

GRAND TOUR

On the road with $1000 bikes, or the Glory of Cheapitude

MARK HOYER

IT’S BEEN SAID THAT USE OF TOOLS IS WHAT SEPARATES US from the primates. But after our recent bout with old smoking motorcycles in the fully equipped Cycle World shop, I’m not so sure. There were plenty of primate noises, mad grimaces and much hurled mung, despite the highly evolved use of screwdrivers as chisels.

But that’s really just your average day at the office. The difference this time was that there was real work taking place: The draining of stale fish oil from forks, evacuation of rancid gasoline from carburetors and tanks, cleaning of pilot jets-a few folks were even checking points (those are ignition parts, kids...).

Bike: 1986 SuzukiGSX-R7/11 Rider; Don Canet Price: Zero-interest loan On the Road: Donation, one set used carbs Info; A true junkyard dog, or the prototypical stunt machine featuring innovative no-handholds-barred the case, this borrowed bare-bones FrankenGixxer is an assemblage of various donor bikes. First-gear power-wheelies come complements of an 1100cc engine transplanted into a 750 frame headed with an upgraded fork, triple-clamps and front brakes grafted off a deceased 750 Limited Edition-quite desirable bits back in ’86. A Rust & Hines header with carbon (coated interior!) canister barks with authority. Prior to our ride, the bike was treated to a tune-up consisting of fresh flat-black Krylon, a shot of chain lube and aired-up tires. I grew fond of the 7/11 over the course of the ride, giving it the nickname “Imminent Impound” since it didn’t have turnsignals or current tags. But while others’ rides were dropping like flies, my crapbike ran like stink-in a good way!

We all had the boss and his overactive eBay mouse finger to thank for initiating this frenzy. It was one fateful click that jarringly altered our charmed life of freshly prepared brandnew motorcycles when the Ed.-in-Chief found a 1969 Honda CL350 chopper, which he clicked on and picked up for an even $1000.

“Look! A real motorcycle for a grand,” he enthused. “We should all beg, borrow or steal a cheap bike, go on tour and do a story.”

“We could call it the 'GrandTour,’” I replied, demonstrating the kind of retarded epiphany that’s gotten me so far in this biz.

And so the assignment was made: Bikes for $1000 or less on a ride of 1000 miles.. .or less. It was an enticing idea. Would it really be possible and practical to get a bike for so little and ride it so far? Was $ 1000 a realistic budget?

Honestly, this whole scenario is a natural for me. My life is this story, for resurrection of cheap junk is my life, and this is my story... So about 12 minutes after David said the word, I was bidding on eBay for a roached 1973 Yamaha RD350.1 made my play on a lark, really, but then the auction ended at $765. “Oh, crap, I won...”

When the bike arrived, it was clear that the description (“You can ride this bike now.”) had been somewhat, urn, optimistic. There was gelatinous “salad dressing” in the carbs, serious ignition issues, wasted tires, peeling paint. I did not feel like an auction “winner.” But I can’t stand to see such a fine bike in such a sorry state, and a call made to my friend and RD specialist Doug Johnson at Motocarrera was reassuring.

“Even seized RDs can bring twice that,” Johnson said. “You did great. Can I take your order?”

Okay, so I made up the last part of his quote, but it underlines a serious point: Buy something that is supported with spare parts and was/is common enough that those parts are readily available. Okay, so I stole that idea from Paul Dean’s used bike buying tips sidebar (page 82).

Of course, we all wished that Paul-who after this long in the business has seen his share of used bikes-had written the sidebar before any of us had started shopping for things to buy, beg, borrow or steal.

Budding criminal records aside, it was glorious to see things coming into focus. People were scanning classifieds, scamming their friends and relatives or poking around websites looking for suitable iron, excited about the opportunity and promise of a better future. For most of us, the idea of a decrepit motorcycle that “needs work” or “ran when parked” is highly enticing. Strangely, it’s not unlike the feeling a man gets when he sees a beautiful woman: There is the suggestion of some unknown but wonderful future. One we’re not likely to ever see...

Bike: 1982 BMWR80G/S Rider: David Edwards Purchase Price: $0 On the Road: $1340 Info: I got my bike for nothing, but I can’t recommend the method of acquisition. When my brother Kevin passed away last year, I inherited his favorite ride, a 100,000-mile salvage-title G/S that he’d fixed up. In my possession, it needed a tune-up, a carb rebuild and some parts—throttle cables, gaskets, rubber boots, etc.-carried out by the local BMW shop, Irv Seaver’s, at a cost of $890 (or $274 for parts, $616 for labor). Even farming the work out, I’d have still been under our mythical $1000 limit if the stock, nonrebuildable shock hadn’t given up the ghost. Progressive Suspension to the rescue with one of its Series 420s; a trifle expensive at $450 but the Damper of the Gods out on Pacific Coast Highway. Airhead aficionados tell me the older G/S is something of a cult machine, going for as much as $3000. Doesn’t really matter to me—this one’s not for sale.

Bike: 1983 YamahaVenture 1200 Rider: Tim Mayhew Purchase Price: $1000 On the Road: $1000 Info: It’s not every day you get to relive the past, but that’s exactly what happened when I came across an old 00.1 couldn’t pass it up and bought it on the spot, as is. I had owned a Venture a decade earlier, churning up 50,000 miles in three years traipsing all over the continent. Best described as “rickety,’’ this new/old one comes rather weathered with 60K on the clock, a bad second gear and one or two zip-ties holding together fairing pieces. It has several mismatched parts from other bikes, and the previous owner even created his own hot-rod touring machine with a V-Boost system and a V-Max rear end bolted on. But now it’s all stock, dead reliable thus far and I haven’t had to put a dime into it. It's used mostly for commuting (my modified Hayabusa holds down the sport-touring duties), and I think I'm going to ride it until it’s just zip-ties holding together the entire bike.

Ass. Ed. Mark Cernicky snagged a decrepit 1986 Yamaha Maxim X 700cc cruiser from his brother as a freebie, and proceeded to chop, strip and customize the thing without ever checking if it ran! It was like having our own Orange County Choppers episode in-house, only watching all of Mark’s personalities argue with one another was way more entertaining! It’s true he missed the deadline and had to ride his Honda XL80 mini dual-sport, but he still gets major points for ingenuity and being a master of the “Bro Deal,” where trading stuff or labor for stuff or labor keeps monetary costs down. Plus, the Maxim, now nearly complete, has turned out to be a super-cool modified freak ride. Hopefully it starts!

The Maxim chop-job-even with its wrought-iron-strut rear “suspension”-would have been much more appropriate than the XL80 for our 750-mile loop through the glorious coastal hill country north of San Francisco.

Who could resist a cheap bike on such magnificent roads? Even our route planner, road guru Tim Mayhew of Pashnit Motorcycle Tours (www.pashnittours.com), joined the “frayed,” with his deliciously disheveled 1983 Yamaha Venture. Hey, there was no second gear on the brown bomber, but what do you want for an “M” note? Look at the size of that fairing!

Bike: QujosTrail Master 200 Rider: Matthew Miles Purchase price: $1000 On the Road: Not anymore... Info: A brand-new motorcycle for $1000? QJ Powersports (www.qjpow ersports.com), U.S. distributor of this Chinese-made dual-sport bike, offers just that. The electric/kick-start, ohv, air-cooled, 198cc Single has full street lighting and semi-knobby tires. The engine responds well to throttle input once warm, and gearing is so short that reaching fifth takes no time at all. The morning of our Grand Tour departure, the headand taillights burned out, followed later by a speedometer failure. After just 196 total miles, the engine quit running due to a broken valve. Were our failures-both big and small-anomalies? Maybe. Forty years ago, American bike-buyers were plenty skeptical of Japanese motorcycles. Now, Japan sells hundreds of thousands of motorcycles each year in the U.S. Is China next?

As the “other” Tim (Regehr) of Pashnit Tours rolled up on his Yamaha FJR1300, the thought occurred that our 12 junkers came in for about the same price all together as his one shiny new sport-tourer. His bike probably made more horsepower than all of ours combined, though.

Nonetheless, it was a truly awesome sight to see 12 Cheap Bikes lined up and smoking at our Sausalito departure hotel. Well, the ones that started were smoking, anyway...

We thundered out of town like a pack of flatulent Chihuahuas, Hell’s Tightwads looking for some extremely cheap action.

Mayhew’s most excellent route had us almost immediately on winding two-lanes, and kept us on proper motorcycle roads for most of the trip, although there were some freeway stints that challenged even our non-minibikes. Then there was that 4000-foot snowy pass...

Discovery number one is that it doesn’t get much cheaper than borrowing somebody else’s $1000 bike. Road Test Editor Don Canet stayed true to his ex-racer roots, as he was used to having his rides provided, particularly those of the 1980s GSX-R variety.

“It was actually Editor Edwards’ suggestion that I get my hands on the ‘rat bike’ Gixxer that annual Sportbike magazine contributor John Casimir has left parked in the CW garage on occasion,” said Canet about his GSX-R7/11 with 1 lOOcc engine in a 750 frame. “Caz seemed a little insulted by the suggestion that his prized steed was worth no more than a grand, but he agreed to lend me the bike in trade for a set of stock GSX-R 1100 carbs that had been sitting on a shelf in my garage for nearly two decades.”

Watching Canet wheelie between corners as I deathrevved the RD trying to keep up was inspirational.

Ultimately, the pack sorted out based on cruising speed. Online Editor Calvin Kim went low-tech with his 1983 Honda FT500 Ascot, while Executive Editor Brian Catterson went “no tech” with his Black Dog 1980 BMW R100T. Both bikes were odd but excellent traveling companions for my midpack RD.

Way on the other end of the power spectrum, Off-Road Editor Ryan Dudek went the wacky route by buying a Yamaha YSR50, which seized four times on the first day! WFO 55mph battles with Cemicky on Highway 1 will do that to a freshly built 50cc two-stroke. Major style points for the urbancamouflage paint job finished the morning we left, though “My favorite part of the ride was dicing with Cemicky and passing the big bikes in the twisties,” said Dudek.

Way out in front, Edwards was usually smoking off into the distance somewhere just behind Canet. But not on the CL350 chop that had started all this madness in the first

Bike: 1983 HondaFT500 Ascot Rider: Calvin Kim Purchase Price: $500 On the Road: $860 Info: I didn't realize cheap bikes could be so much fun. My Ascot, discovered through the www. cycleworld.com forums (thanks to regular Fid Hawser), took very little “freshening" in order to make it road-worthy. I redid the rocker-cover seal, added a new battery and that was it. I decided to go full-pimp, however, and installed a new sparkplug (free, from the CW toolbox), tapered-roller steering-head bearings, fork seals, inner and outer fork bushings and a set of Race Tech Gold Valve Cartridge Emulators. Sure, it could still use a brake rebuild and, of course, the swingarm bushings and wheel bearings could be changed, but they still have a few thousand miles left in ’em so why “fix” what functions just fine? Regardless, the thing works supergreat now and will probably continue to do so for a long time. Old bikes just need a little TLC.

place. After fresh JC Whitney tires and tubes and a thorough carb clean, the bike was still running inconsistently. Having like so many of us left final tweaks to the week prior to the ride (after the bike had earlier fallen off its custom sidestand in the parking lot and cracked the tank!), he realized that the carbs were non-standard oversize items pilfered from some smoker-era two-stroke. There wasn’t time to sort them out, and he fell back on what was probably the best bike for our winding (and often rustic) route through the rolling hills and sequoias of Sasquatch Country: his late brother Kevin’s 1982 BMW R80G/S. To say the bike was “free” would be horribly incorrect, but it did come into his possession for no dollar cost. A dealer-done tune-up and fancy shock to replace the blown stocker pushed him over $ 1K. It was-despite a salvage title and high mileage-one of the most trouble-free bikes, however.

“The G/S shows the value of keeping an old bike up,” said Edwards. “Kevin rode the Beemer until a few weeks before his death, and had maintained the bike throughout his five years of ownership.”

One would suspect that abandoned and older high-mileage bikes would be all you could get for $1000. Don’t forget about China! A brand-new Qujos Trail Master 200 arrived at our office crated, at the behest of Managing Editor Matthew Miles and at a cost of an even $1000 (less on eBay). It was definitely shiny, but the naked cheapness of construction and materials was repellent. But “Kujo” fired right up and was ready to ride. At least for a while: The head of a valve broke off and lunched the motor on Day One. I never saw a guy so happy about a locked-up powerplant! In the bike’s defense, 50 miles of around-town break-in before being pinned at its 60-mph top speed all day might not be recommended procedure. The plus side of buying new is a warranty (whole motor replacement, said the importer), and even if you had to buy a new engine, it’s $400. And, hey, Miles didn’t have to clean carbs, spoon on new rubber or buy a battery to be ready to go!

Bike: 1980 BMWR100T Rider: Brian Catterson Purchase Price: $1500 On the Road: $2495 Info: Want to get yourself a fine-running $1000 bike? It’s easy: Just spend $2500. That’s what I did. Yeah, I cheated, so sue me. But the way I figure it, this concept was flawed from the start. I spent months searching the cheap side and came up empty-handed. All I found were Honda Hawk 400s, plus various variations on the Japanese “custom” theme and a handful of wadded sportbikes. Sorry, but I’m not going to waste my time and energy restoring some pile that’s better left steamin’! So the “Black Dog” it was. I found the bike through Chris Hodgson at San Jose BMW and hauled it to Mitch Berger at Austravarian Cycles in Harbor City, to have him bring it back from the dead, which he did for less than a grand. Aside from a minor fuel leak on the first morning, my R100T ran well. By the end of our three-day outing, the Beemer and I had bonded. I’m not sure I have the heart to sell it, and definitely not for $1000...

Bike: 1989 HondaXR250R Rider: Allan Girdler Purchase price: $4000 Current Value: $500 Info: When rules for the Grand Tour were posted, I feared I might not make the cut. In the garage was an ’89 XR250R with a retail price when I bought it new of around $4000. But just to double-check current value, I went on the web, keyed in the data and got the figure: $500 tops. Five-hundred dollars?! That’s an outrage. We’re talking air-cooled Honda Single here and an aircooled Honda Single is like an iron Chevy V-Eight—if it quits running, it’s out of gas because running out of fuel is the only reason it won’t run forever. During 15 years of work and abuse (including at least 10 Barstowto-Vegas runs), the XR has received...nothing. Okay, one sparkplug, tires and a Supertrapp muffler. Last year, I thought to clean the air filter and it was so old it crumbled. I’ve never touched the carburetor. I don’t even know where the ignition is. So? So this unappreciated motorcycle, at the price of $500 or less, will do everything a motorcycle needs to do. An expedition, for example? Bring it on.

Arguably, very few people were actually “ready” when the time finally came to depart. Can any man truly be ready to ride a 1973 RD350 250 miles or more in a day, much less 750 miles in three days? Is a dual-sported 1989 Honda XR250R really a good “touring” bike? Contributing Editor Allan Girdler was thrilled to be riding the XR he bought new, and it was pointed out more than once that he could, at any time, take to the dirt and see a lot more scenery than any one of us. He was bummed to find out the XR’s current value of $500, but its cheapness (if he had to buy it from himself) allowed his participation on the ride.

“Participation” truly was the main benefit. Most bikes demanded attention, the gathering of knowledge and the building of a network to find parts and advice. Most of us who actually bought bikes ended up over the $1000 limit. Some of us (no names, Catterson) even started over it! But if you buy something you actually want and can even love, the rest will come naturally and a few extra dollars amortized over time will be absorbed happily.

You will note that the cheapest end cost was Mr. Kim’s Ascot, which rang in at $860 after repair and tweaks (Race Tech Cartridge emulators for the fork were quite extravagant). Aside from his repairable oil leaks (silicone to the rescue) he had no troubles on the ride, which would make him the “winner.” But that depends on your perspective. Assistant Art Director Keith May’s ex-Jimmy Lewis XT600 was bought for $300, and he dropped nearly a grand getting it ready for the ride. But his main mission was to learn about motorcycle mechanics, which he did-probably more than he wanted to! And, yes, kickstarting is an art...

Bike: 1973 YamahaRD350 Rider: Mark Hoyer Purchase Price: $765 On the Road: $1400 Info: One of the greatest motorcycles of all time for less than a grand? Yes, I was shocked, too. Not as shocked as I was when I got my eBay purchase and saw how far down the bike had been dragged by 30 years of use and abuse (or found out what the DMV back fees were-always get the plate run before you buy). Still, underneath it all, things were solid: Compression was good, clutch and gearbox were sound and the aftermarket chrome chambers polished up nicely (and are much quieter since repacking). After that it was a battery, tires and tune-up stuff, plus tapered-roller head bearings and bronze swingarm bushes to restore that famous café-racer handling. Now, it’s making 38 horsepower on the dyno, starts first kick, and even kept on running after I ran it out of oil and seized it. No wonder so many RDs have made it so far. Next up? Trying to convince Kevin Cameron to rebuild the motor and give up some old TZ350 roadracer bodywork.

Like most of us who ended up spending $1500 or so reviving junkers with a much lower initial cost, he could

Bike: 1988 YamahaYSR50 Rider: Ryan Dudek Purchase Price: $750 On the Road: $1406 Info: Time was running out. Late to the Cheap Party, I had only a month to find a bike. I always thought YSRs were cool, but everything good was over $1000. Finally, I found a real beauty on eBay. Did you catch the sarcasm? I’m a pretty gullible, easygoing guy and I needed a bike so I just kept bidding. Note to self: Get as much info as possible from the seller. I won, but this mini looked like it was ridden hard for 10 years, then left outside for 10 more. I rebuilt the motor, powdercoated the frame and cleaned, replaced or fixed every part. Yes, the engine seized (melted piston; see Kevin Cameron’s July TDC column!) and I went home early with my head down. Not for lack of trying, though, as we tore down the motor in the hotel room trying to make it go, but it was no good. Not to worry, back home a new piston and rings got me on the road again and the YSR now is my fun commuter.

have bought a much cleaner bike for that budget than we were able to build. A $1500 RD350 is typically a much nicer bike than the $1400 one I’ve ended up with. But I now know RDs inside and out, and have made a few friends along the way.

It is interesting to note that aside from my RD, all the bikes that made it on the ride were built in the 1980s, and most were Hondas and Yamahas. Obviously, the ’80s is currently the “cheap” decade, and the bikes are just “old” without being “classic.” That they were predominantly Yamaha and Honda products also makes sense, as this was the height of the market-share war between the two brands, and combined they virtually owned the sales floors of America.

There was plenty of roadside wrenching (when was the last time you fouled a plug?), but at least one of the problems was caused by human error. The RD seized on the last day, but it didn’t let me down-I let it down by running the oil-injection tank dry. A further learning experience. Luckily it wasn’t terminal, and I finished the tour.

Bike: 1989 YamahaXT600 Rider: Keith May Purchase price: $300 On the road: $1200 Info: My XT was previously owned, pissed on, shot at and forgotten about by off-road legend Jimmy Lewis. I planned a leisurely restoration over the next couple of years, learning about motorcycle mechanics along the way, and then to ride off into the sunset. Years became weeks upon enlisting for the Grand Tour. Resto included battery, (amateur) carb rebuild, OEM plastic, tires, paint and more. Mandatory muffler replacement busted the budget. On tour, she often started first-kick. But only when no one was watching. With an audience? There’s nothing more emasculating than appearing unable to kickstart your own bike. Once running, the temperamental beast was raring to go with abundant torque, neutral steering and comfortable ergos. But after 450 miles my karma ran out. A broken clutch cable was repaired in Eureka, but carburetion problems compounded, leading to a DNF. Regardless, a fine investment and work continues.

Bike: 1981 HondaXL80 Rider: Mark Cemicky Purchase Price: $650 On the Road: $650 info: The XL80 wasn’t intended for this story at ali. I picked up the 2600-mile jewel just for neighborhood shenanigans and sidewalk-jumping glory. A reliable runner from day one, it was roped into touring duty at the last minute because my intended cheap bike, a 1986 Yamaha “Maximum” XI later dubbed “Brotherly Love” (I got it from my big bro and intend to give it back after I finish the work) needed more love than I had time to give. I was sad about not finishing and having to ride my substitute—until we came across the damp, dirty, redwood-lined roads of Northern California. Then it was all about close encounters of the mini kind with Dudek and his YSR. Never mind finishing the ride in the truck when the freeway sections came along. In its place, nothing is more fun than the Little XL That Could. And did.

We all were pretty merciless in our treatment of the equipment, riding nearly as hard as possible on the fun roads. And yet the dogs was excellent, most of the larger-displacement stuff making it through pinned throttles, dragged undercarriages (and cylinder heads), snow, driving rain and freezing temperatures.

The ride was such a (slowly) moving experience, art-guy Keith even wrote a song about his hard-to-start, kick-only Single. It was The $1000 Blues, of course, salient line, “One kick, two kicks, three kicks go, if she starts, we’ll hit the road.”

So, if you’re going to scrape the bottom of the food chain’s barrel, it is important that you at least have basic mechanical skills, or the desire to develop them. You’ll need tools, too, because toolkits don’t make it down to this end of the usedbike market, although I did get a plastic bag with a steel rod and plug wrench under the RD’s seat.

Ultimately, the real investment you will make in a $ 1000 bike is yourself, and that will become its greatest value.

The deals are out there. All you have to be is cheap. And willing to have a good time. B