In the Bag
In the bag
UP FRONT
David Edwards
SLACKERS BEWARE, BOB GOODMAN IS on your case. Seems you’re taking way too much time answering the call of nature, cutting into your riding time on tour, shortening your daily mileage total and messing with your average speed. Creeping onset of incontinence be damned, what you need is the Louisiana inventor’s “E-Z Leaker,” sort of a funnel/catheter device that hooks up to the Big Bopper, with tubing that runs down your pants leg and out past your boot.
Comes time to drain the ol’ iguana, no stopping necessary, just let loose and you are vented to the atmosphere, my friend (that should teach tailgaters). For those who’d rather not hose down fellow motorists-or who change their own rear tires-a deluxe self-contained version is offered with a strap-on ankle pouch big enough “to relieve the bladder at least four times,” we’re informed. No joke. Bob even has a website (what else, www.ezleaker.com). Send the man $34.95 plus s&h and you are good to go, so to speak. No more blaming your short days in the saddle on an overactive bladder.
Industry studies tell us that the average U.S. motorcyclist racks up less than 2500 miles annually, a “pathetic, paltry amount” to quote that annoyingly British femdom from TV’s “Weakest Link” gameshow. That’s about 200 miles a month, maybe one good 50mile toot per weekend. There’s not a lot of day-to-day commuting going on it would seem, and precious few vacation tours. Cycle World readers, of course, do better, logging almost 5000 miles per annum, so says our latest subscriber study, which is more like it.
Apologies to Mr. Goodman, but the search for suitable pissoirs may not be the only factor keeping riders off the road. The average motorcycle, see, has less cargo capacity than your wife’s handbag, meaning it’s tough to take things along-either commuting or touring-tougher yet to pick up anything en route. Not very convenient.
The solution is as simple as a set of hard saddlebags. Lockable, watertight and detachable, luggage transforms a bike from a mere plaything (not that there’s anything wrong with that) into a useful tool for travel. Nice to have the option. Problem is, apart from one notable exception, bike-makers have not made this kind of practicality a priority. Set luxury tourers, dedicated sporttourers and a few touring cruisers aside, and of the remaining 150 or so streetbike models for sale in the United States, perhaps 15 have hard saddlebags listed as a factory option-almost half of those being BMWs.
Years ago, the German company simply mandated that all its bikes be bagcompatible. Today, everything in the line-R1200C cruiser to K1200RS sportbike—can be outfitted with unobtrusive mounting brackets and stylish saddlebags. Tour trunks and tankbags are also on the options list.
Sunday-morning sleeksters like the Suzuki GSX-R1000 and Yamaha YZFR1 may get all the magazine covers, but often as not on weeknights they remain tethered in the CW garage while bikes like our long-term BMW F650 Dakar and Cagiva Gran Canyon-homely buggers with bags-do the dirty work of taking us to and fro. Friday afternoons on the way home from work, I stop by a corner grocer’s for weekend provisions. It’s the kind of place where the butcher remembers your cut of meat, the bread is just-baked, the fruit and veggies straight from the farm. Nice selection of imported beer, too, and my favorite brand of Maui potato chips. A good set of saddlebags swallows the rations no trouble, room to spare. Hell, I might starve on a Gixxer.
Of course, there are ways to cope in the absence of factory cases, soft luggage being the first option. There’s some great gear out there these days. I’m currently in love with a Taichi LDE rearseat pack, maybe the best-constructed piece of luggage (bike or otherwise) I’ve encountered. But there are drawbacks. Unless you’re fanatical about tying down soft luggage, the bike’s plastic can take a beating, especially on a long tour where rainy road grime can work itself between bodywork and bag. (Hauling Hint: Clear contact paper makes a good buffer.) Then there’s theft protection, or lack thereof. Leave the bags unattended and even if you padlock zipper ends together, access is only a razor blade away.
Next step up the luggage ladder is aftermarket hard bags. Givi is the main player here, with fitment for a wide range of bikes. A friend has a triple-bag setup for his Honda VFR and loves it. Cargo capacity of a Gold Wing, and packed correctly (heavy stuff in the saddlebags, light items in the trunk), the effect on handling is negligible. If there’s a negative with aftermarket bags, it’s in the aesthetics. Because the luggage wasn’t designed in from the start, it has to fit around existing bodywork, which makes for a wide rear end. Also, bags removed, you’re left with mounting hardware that resembles scaffolding. Bothers my friend so much he removes the offending bracketry while not on tour. Granted, he’s got the re-mounting drill down to about 15 minutes, but compare this to slinging a set of bags onto a BMW, which takes all of 15 seconds.
There’s always the cheapskate method. Another friend tucks a bungee net under the seat. Depending on the payload, it can be pressed into service as a tankbag or a seat pack. A simple $ 10 solution, though the top of his gas tank looks like hell.
Anyway, there’s hope that more bags are on the way. Look for some flagship sport-tourers in 2002. Yamaha U.S. is close to making a decision on the FJR1300. Honda is due to replace the creaky STI 100. Rumors persist about a Kawasaki ZX-11 -based bagger. As you can read in this issue, Ducati just powered up its ST4.
Maybe some of this usefulness will filter down to the rest of the line. Meanwhile, get out there and make some miles. Please. Hate to think what bodily function Bob Goodman might turn his attention to next. E2
