Oaf Test
OAF TEST
Pick the most likely answer and you get 5 bonus points (which you may need desperately) on CYCLE WORLD’S....
REALIZING that you have nothing better to do than answer a bunch of silly questions, CYCLE WORLD has conceived a supreme test of competence for the aspiring motorcycle buff. There are five categories of skill in this devastating epreuve.
For a score of 180 to 200 points, you rate the ne plus ultra title of Dervish. From 160 to 179 points, you are pretty red hot and all that, so you are an Expert. From 140 to 159 points, you still have a little flash, but we wouldn't trust you enough to sit in your slipstream-so you're a Squirrel. A 120to 139-point rating is rather unspectacular, to say the least, and even though you may be a nice guy and all that, you're still a Crasher in our books. And if you score less than 120, well...tsk, tsk, you are an Oaf. The bonus points are included in the total.
Most of the answers to these questions have cropped up somewhere in past issues of CYCLE WORLD. If you need to go to a source to look for the answers, it's okay. We certainly can't stop you. And it may even do you some good.
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE (1 point each):
1. Within one mile, how long is the Isle of Man TT course?
2. Road racer Max Deubel was world champion in what class?
3. How many cylinders did the Norton International have?
4. The Harley-Davidson KR displaces how many cubic inches?
5. In what country was the Henderson manufactured?
6. Why do two-stroke pistons have locating pins?
7. How many cubic centimeters, roughly, does the BMW R27 displace?
8. What type of racing is done at the Charity Newsies?
9. What is a "kill button" used for?
10. Name the brand of carburetor most commonly used on English roadsters.
11. In a drag race between two bikes, who wins—the quickest or the fastest?
12. If you increase the size of the countershaft sprocket, does the gearing get higher or lower?
13. What does dohc mean?
14. What does "the ton" refer to?
15. It is November in England, and an illiterate motorcyclist has just bought the Manchester Guardian. Why?
16. "Scratcher" refers to what type of racer?
17. How many days does the ISDT run?
18. What is a ring-ding?
19. What is a ding-a-ling?
20. What is the Elefanten-Treffen?
21. A rider gets on his bike in the morning, pulls in the clutch lever, and kicks the starter without turning the ignition key on. What is he doing that for?
22. Your engine won't fire, but you have plenty of gas, the fuel tap is open and the ignition key is on. What do you check first?
23. Who is the present Canadian national champion?
24. What is another name for a sidevalve engine?
25. What are clip-ons?
26. What is the other most important factor in steering geometry besides rake?
27. Where is a layshaft found?
28. What engine part does "tulip" most likely refer to?
29. What is "Ago's" full name?
30. The "hotshoe" is used primarily in what motorcycle sport?
31. Name the only American brand of motorcycle that has ever won at the Isle of Man TT.
32. What machine recently broke the AMA one-hour speed record?
33. Specify the speed of the above record within 2 mph. Identify the following models by brand of machine:
34. Black Shadow.
35. Interceptor.
36. Campera.
37. Red Hunter.
38. 7R.
39. Lodola.
40. Scorpion.
41. Super Tenor.
42. Samurai
JARGON (multiple choice, 1 point each):
1. "Gas it" means:
a. fill it up with Super and don't bother with the windshield.
b. screw it on.
2. "Drop the hammer":
a. has something to do with a guy being a bad mechanic.
b. means releasing the clutch violently. ‘
3. If someone "high sides" all the time:
a. he's a crasher
b. he's adept at passing on the outside.
4. If he's riding "over his head":
a. he's -surpassing the limits of his ability.
b. he just did an "end-o."
5. A "shagger" most likely has some connection with:
a. a TR2.
b. a TR6R.
6. "Motor" refers to:
a. an engine.
b. racing without pushing hard.
7. If a rider was "crossed up":
a. he was victim of a devious racing tactic.
b. he got it sideways.
8. If it "swiffened up by three teeth":
a. the track is faster.
b the machine had £~ geared lower to get peak revs `~
...And now for a nitty-gritty test of riding skill.
For 10 bonus points, who is the rider sliding down the road? Or, if you can't answer that, what brand of machine was he riding? Or, if ypu can't answer that, is he or is he not wearing a moustache?
FILL IN ANSWERS (10 points each):
1. Riding on the pavement, you enter a turn, lean over and dis cover you're going too fast to make it. What do you do?
2. Out playing in the dirt, you find a graded dirt oval and start playing around. You come into one of the turns too fast, but cannot run straight off because of a rock wall on the outside of the turn. To complete the turn with least chance of falling, or crashing into the wall, will you most likely turn the front wheel into, or out of, the turn?
3. Riding alone for shortest time around a road course* you encounter an "S" bend that requires you to slow down. Which tactic will net you a better overall time from start to finish: entering the "S" as fast as you can, with less regard to exit speed; or leaving the "S" as fast as you can with less regard to entry speed?
4. At racing speeds, when is an engine most likely to blow up or seize-under full acceleration or when you turn the gas off?
5. Accelerating hard from a slow turn on the dirt with both feet on the pegs, the bike bobbles on surlace irregularities and the front wheel is hopping slightly. Should you drop your inside foot to get better control?
6. On a heavily traveled hill road, which will cause the greatest trac tion problem-the uphill lane or the downhill lane?
7. When coming to a stop in a hurry at a traffic light, is it better to stop in the center of the lane so that other drivers know you have full occupancy of the lane, or is it better to stop a bit to the side of the lane?
8. You are cruising down a road at 65 mph and you turn your head to the left to see if anybody is behind you. What is most likely to happen?
9. Touring at a fast rate of speed, you hear a sudden loud scraping, or pinging whistle, or clanking from your engine. What is your very first move?
A. (Multiple choice, 5 points) These men:
1. are officiating at an AMA field meet bite-the-weiner contest.
2. have just seen a fellow doctor bogey the 18th hole at a convention match and are looking the other way.
3. have never raced.
4. are Bill Berry and Jules Horky.
5. two of the above.
B. (Multiple choice, 5 poin ts) This man:
1. is a circus clown,
2. is nicknamed "Shorty. "
3. specialize6 in AMA ITracing.
4. is uptight because he didn't make the Expert main.
5. one of the above.
6. two of the above,
7 three of the above,
C. (Multiple, 5points) This man:
1. is calling for a match so he can see how full his gas tank is.
2. is Y von du Hamel.
3. is too paunchy to be Y von du Hamel.
4. tuned the fastest bike at the Daytona 200 this year.
5. two of the above.
D. (Multiple, 5 points) This man:
1. has a supporting role in the cast of the musical comedy, "Hair," and really digs bikes.
2. specializes in TT racing.
3. is serious every moment.
4. never wheelies because he thinks it wastes time.
b. is nicknamed "Steady Eddie."
6. two of the above.
7. three of the above.
SPEC/AL 10-POINT BONUS: Name three brands of motorcycle that this man has ridden professionally in the past few years.
E. (Multiple, 5 points) The man on the left:
1. is Gary Berquist.
2. is taking part in Honda's rider instruction program for novice customers.
3. has his ankles taped so his pants won't fall down.
4. is taking part in the Mexican 1000.
5. two of the above.
F. (Multiple, 5 points) This man:
1. is the Frito Bandito.
2. is in the Mexican cavalry.
3. is now riding in Europe.
4. has a last name sounding like a make of automobile.
5. can ride faster in the dirt than that auto could run on smooth pavement.
6. two of the above.
7. three of the above.
C. (Multiple, 5 points) This man:
1. is a guest of some AMA of f/c/al and really has no business in the pits at a/I.
2. is a well-known starter in AMA racing.
3. couldn't be a starter because his shades are too dark and he can't see Eddie Mu/der jump the f/ag.
4. is nicknamed "Blacky."
5. is about to be given the back of a hand because he sent a rider to the back of the starting grid.
RIDING SKILL The man coming down the road on his hindside at more than 60 mph is Ginger ANSWERS Molloy (no moustache), and the bike is a Bultaco 350. Title Question: Gary is leading Neil. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE 1. Straighten the machine up, brake as much as you can, and then (hopefully) 1. 37.75 miles. resume turning before you go off the 2. Sidecar. road. 3. One. 2. This is a common problem in flat4. 45. tracking. You will actually turn your 5. U.S. wheel into the turn, then use the throt 6. To prevent the ring ends from tie to get the bike sideways to scrub off catching on the ports. speed. Once sideways, you `II have the 7. 250. front wheel in the more usual out-of8. Flat track. the-turn position. 9. To stop the engine. 3. Leaving the "S" as fast as you can, 10. A ma!. which gives you better acceleration 11. The quickest. down the straight and therefore results 12. Higher. in a better overall time. Going into the 13. Double overhead camshaft. first bend of an "5" too hot puts you 14. Doing 100 mph. off line for a good exit from the second 15. He `11 stuff it inside his jacket to bend. keep warm. 4. Just when you turn the gas off. 16. English road racer, usually short 5. No. The counterreaction from your circuit. foot moving off the pegs may cause the 17. Six, front wheel to jump higher, and cause 18. A two-stroke, you to high side. Use knee grip, body 19. An unrespected or goofy rider, lean and throttle control. 20. A road rally. 6. The uphill side. Vehicles labor 21. To free up the clutch plates. heaviest on an uphill, leaving a dan22. The spark plug, for spark. gerous deposit of oil and unburned 23. Yvon du Hamel. carbon on the road. 24. Flathead. 7. Stopping in the center of the lane, 25. Low stubby bars, usually used for particularly when in a hurry, is tricky road racing. business, as the automobile crankcases 26. Trail. generally leave a deposit of oil there. 27. Gearbox. The best traction is slightly off the 28. Valve, center. 29. Giacomo Agostini. 8. There is a natural tendency for the 30. Flat track, bike to wander in whichever direction 31. Indian. your head is turned-just one more 32. BSA Three. reason why a rear-view mirror is useful. 33. 127 mph. And if you are girl-watching, be careful 34. Vincent. that you don't ride right into the curb. 35. Royal Enfield. 9. Pull in the clutch. You flunk this 36. Bultaco. question if you merely turn off the 37. Ariel. throttle or hit the brakes. An engine 38. AJS. making noise like that may seize, lock39. Moto Guzzi. ing the back wheel. 40. Mon tesa. 41. Terrot. 42. Kawasaki. PICTURE QUESTIONS A, 6; B, 5; C, 5; D, 6; (Bonus: Triumph, JARGON Mon tesa, Harley-Davidson); E, 4; F, 7; 1, b; 2, b; 3, a; 4, a; 5, b; 6, b; 7, b; 8, a. G, 2.
